I need to ask this?

Good morning GreenNanny, I know it will always be on the back of anyone’s mind after having cancer and given the NED result what if it comes back scenario! I think all we can do is live the best we can at feeding this body and looking after it the best we can to give it a good chance of survival. Sadly we just don’t know what is around the corner and there are new diagnoses of cancer every day to people who never had cancer. At least we are being looked at up to five years so we have a better chance of it being spotted sooner than later. I try to love this body of mine and thank it for getting through the treatment to enjoy being alive! I am now twenty two months post treatment and every month we are healing and becoming stronger and trying to get back to how we were with more awareness of what our bodies tell us. There can be hiccups along the way especially early days where you get symptoms that can easily send you back in that worrying spiral. As time goes on that becomes less. I too have wondered what I would do if it returns and I have to tell myself I will continue to fight every inch of the way and as much as we moan about the NHS they are there for us to help. It’s normal how you are feeling but try not to let negative emotions take hold and destroy your good feelings as stress is not good for us. I still stop and take in some slow deep breaths and think nice thoughts as nothing is gained by letting this ugly little head that tries to come to the surface and destroy what we have been through. Take care.

You are right I know thank you and take good care of yourself xx 

I'm not sure any of us can be totally carefree about the possibility of this cancer coming back, or a new one showing up. Before my diagnosis it was all theoretical and easy enough to bear, but now it can be a rabbit hole of fear. 

We all have different ways of handling fear. One of the best ones for me to is to keep anchoring myself in the present. This has some drawbacks- I've become terribly Out of Sight, Out of Mind. But it does anchor me and keep me grounded and not too crazy.

Whatever the outcome, cancer does seem to change most of us in ways we didn't expect.

Hugs

suz

GreenNanny, having a cancer diagnosis takes away your innocence.  It may sound daft considering many of us are, well, mature, but we live well and look after ourselves and really are enjoying life and then get landed with this absolute bombshell, and life is never the same.  It never occurred to me in a million years that it could happen to me, I live healthily, eat healthily, get lots of exercise and thought I was - not quite invincible - but on track for a long innings.  Getting my head round that took some work, and I am not quite there yet, but I did notice some months ago that there were more and more days when I felt really happy rather that caught up in 'What ifs?'  That's the place I would rather stay in, I am not always successful and sometimes unwelcome thoughts come in but keeping very busy and planning ahead all helps. 

You really aren't alone in this, we all know and empathise.

Big hug

Irene xx

Oh GreenNanny , yes, you are so very normal in your worry, but that doesn’t really make it any easier, does it?!   I recall being constantly worried, constantly fearful in the first months after NED.  The first thing I’ll say is the worry gets better with time and continued good news at future check-ups; the second thing I’ll say is go back to the facts.  The facts are overwhelmingly on your side!

I leaned on people, a lot, in those first months!  I have a friend who’s 4 years out of successful treatment, and whenever I’d feel overwhelmed with worry, I’d call her.  She’d reassure me, tell me dumb jokes, cheerlead for me, pray with me, and her very vibrant presence is always a reminder enough that people GET THROUGH THIS to “cure!”  I also have an AMAZING radiation oncologist.  Every physical symptom I have, I just write to her, text or email, and literally, without fail, every single time she will respond to me with reassurance and a good explanation within MINUTES!  She is amazing, never seems annoyed at my worry, and even tells me “it’s expected.”  She treats the anxiety like any other urgent symptom and addresses it immediately.  I love that.  So much peace of mind in having a physician like that—I hope you have a doctor or nurse who you can contact with all of the side effect/physical symptom questions.

Apart from that I have found relief in many of the same ways ridetbred , Jaycee12 , and Irene75359  have.

I am sending you peace.  I know this first part of survivorship is underestimated in its challenge, but you have done the hardest part, you can do this, too.

Hugs your way!

Red

Good Morning Green Nanny,

First its wonderful to hear you are starting to enjoy life again after the awful time you had after your treatment - knew you would get there 

You've had some fabulous heart felt replies from our lovely friends on this forum who understand us - what would we do without them 

Keep those happy thoughts you are getting now and look forward to the spring and summer with your family especially your grandkiddies who love you so.   

We are all the same on this forum and feel for you.  I have happy days when I don't think of the cancer (well hardly!) and others when i get anxious especially when scans etc coming up.  Just had a sigmoidoscopy this week and so had two weeks of stress! 

Find keeping busy and doing nice things - always having something to look forward to is the best way to be.  Try to keep how I am feeling from my family (except hubby of course) but do talk to my friends as it is good to talk.

We're all here for you Green Nanny you are not alone feeling this way so come on here if you need to talk.

Keep those happy thoughts coming,

Sending big hugs and love,

Carole x

Aww thank you all soo very much for your kindness and words of support as always you always make me feel better ️‍ xxx