Current experience

Carole, you are doing so well.  Just grit your teeth for the next few weeks and then you can look forward to getting fit and going to see a new grandchild - what better motivation is that!  And Italy - one of my favourite countries, my son-in-law is Italian and I am great friends with his mother so we are semi-immersed in Italian cooking at least!  Eight days will pass so quickly and then - feet up, and heal, and just take your time about it too.

Irene xx

Hi all

Not my best day - started the day by throwing up - I think it was the morphine and the cocktail of meds I took at 7am in readiness for the day - my brain just kind of revolted at it all and it all came back lol!! Arrived for chemo at 11 only to be told the pump had not arrived from pharmacy yet.  It was 2 hours late so then the radiotherapy was delayed because of that and I was sitting around the hospital most of the day.  Then the pain relief had pretty much worn thin by then and I was a bit uncomfortable by the time I got home.  Thank goodness that day is over.  Hopefully the rest of the week will be better!!

7 days left. Sigh. 

Carole x

Irene - I love Italy, love the family my son has immersed himself into and also love the food!  Am trying to learn Italian too.  C

:( Well, that sounds truly dire. I'm sure glad this day is over for you too. Sure hope tomorrow is better, Carole.

Hugs

Suz

Our grandsons (6 and 9) listen to their Nonna chattering away to them in Italian all the time, they are a bit shy about speaking but the elder one amazed me the other day when he answered her in perfect Italian without searching for words.  And she is teaching me how to cook Italian dishes, I love the food too!

Carole, that sounds so miserable; you must be wishing these next seven days away.  But you are on the home run and then no more daily hospital visits.  Just hang on in there.

Irene xx

Hi all

Had PICC line taken out yesterday and ended the chemo and what a relief that was!  I just feel so nauseous all the time and the chemo taste is driving me nuts - I do nibble on ginger biscuits but frankly I don't want to eat anything.  Just 3 days of radiotherapy left and I feel very very uncomfortable now.  Taking morphine and paracetamol but the time between doses that it works is lessening.  I am trying to avoid going for the cocodamol at moment as bowels tend to be constipated rather than anything and why do I always want to open them just as the pain meds are wearing off??  I know I should reach for the Laxido but tbh putting anything in my mouth to swallow makes me feel sickly.  Then it just takes my breath away when I finally open bowels and it makes me feel extra ill for an hour after.  I am so so sore on inside of legs/groin.  I know I'm moaning a lot today but its just getting me down now.  Just want to cry but no one really understands the pain of it except you all! Most of the time I'm just lying on the sofa or having a nap on the bed.  Can't really concentrate on reading or anything - I  just drift into this 'other' place of misery and hunker down and hope that time passes quickly so it will all be over.

Carole x

You're doing it exactly right, Carole, sticking with your painkillers on schedule and resting. I think the bowel pressure and the pain meds wearing off make sense when you think of how constipating they are. It's a continuing dance, which will go on for another few weeks (maybe less!) and it's so hard to predict. I'm so glad that by later this week you'll be through with the treatment and can just focus on healing. Hang in there!

Big hugs

Suz

Carole, in a short time you will look back and think - did I really go through all that?  And you are right, unless someone has actually been through it they can only guess what it is like, and I don't think they would come close.  In the last week of my treatment I was walking towards the radiotherapy department and a man dressed in loose tracksuit bottoms was walking slowly in front of me and a soft groan was escaping from his lips with each step.  I thought this poor man is having pelvic radiotherapy.

The morphine invariably causes constipation, so I would persevere with the Laxido if you can, I know how difficult it is when you are feeling so nauseous but it certainly makes opening bowls a bit easier.  And make good use of that Sitz bath, use it filled with lukewarm water to open your bowels in, it is less painful under water.  And tell the team treating you how bad the pain is, in the end I was having morphine slow release capsules in addition to the morphine syrup so they may need to step up your pain relief meds.

And just you carry on hunkering down, you aren't moaning in the least and we all know that and feel for you.

My daughters bought me a little plaque. 'This too will pass'.

Irene xx

Hi Carole (Cranford ),

I know it’s really difficult at the stage you’re at now but try & keep in the forefront of your mind that this is the end of treatment & really soon things will start getting easier. Keep up with your painkillers, hopefully now the chemo is done the nausea will begin to subside & you’ll be able to tolerate the Laxido to combat the side effects of the morphine/codeine & keep the constipation at bay. 

Please don’t ever feel like you’re moaning here, we’ve all been there & completely understand how you’re feeling, that’s the beauty of this group & I think unless you’ve been through it it’s really difficult for anyone else to understand what it’s like, family & friends can sympathise with us but we actually know how you’re feeling.

As Suz has said hang in there, it’ll soon all be done & you can concentrate on healing. 

Nicola