More on vaginal stenosis

Hi @Mrs Vanilla, it can take a while to progress up the sizes. I know some people on this site have bought the silicone dilators you have referred to and say they are more comfortable. It may be worth a try perhaps just buy one in a size a little  bigger than the one you’re using now rather than a set and see how you get on with it. You do need to use lots of lube whilst using them. I use Yes water based lubricant, it’s sugar free so doesn’t set off thrush. Quite a lot of lubes do contain sugar.  Another thing to note is that I understand most women approaching and going through menopause suffer from vaginal atrophy. This can sometimes also be caused by pelvic radiotherapy. This means that the vaginal tissue becomes thinner and more fragile leading to dryness and causing sex -or using dilators- to be more uncomfortable. Add that the the stenosis (narrowing) of the vagina due to radiotherapy and no wonder we struggle so much to return to our sex lives.  I’m also going through menopause and now have vaginal atrophy to add to things! Today I have had a telephone appointment with my GP and been prescribed estrogen vaginal pessaries to see if this makes things more comfortable.    It is worth persevering with the dilators, part of the problem with progressing to a size up can be the psychological side of things. I note from your post that you still feel delicate and no wonder, it’s a lot to go through. Try not to put pressure on yourself, relax as much as possible whilst using the dilators. I have managed to have sex again,it is not as comfortable as it used to be but I hope with getting the vaginal atrophy sorted out things may improve.  It is possible to be referred to a gynaecological physiotherapist who can help long term if things don’t improve. Bev. 

Thank you 1in1500, that's really helpful. x

Hi Mrs Vanilla 

I totally feel what you’re going through & have also found this physically and emotionally one of the hardest parts of recovery all whilst feeling guilty that I am also grateful to be so lucky to be alive and for the treatment to successful.  So many mixed emotions. 

The good news is that there is hope, but the dilators do take patience and perseverance and as Bev has recommend lots of water based lube..  My gynaecologist also recommended coconut cooking oil (solid) to use to massage the area to soften the damaged area.  If you look at my post I was very fortunate to also be Referred to a physio who helped me so much and I have had a Fentons procedure which basically has cut the opening of the vagina to make it wider and after 2 years have been able to have sex.   It’s still quite painful and we used Emla numbing cream but it was a breakthrough.  

i wish you the best of luck as I know that after treatment finishes we think we have smashed it but it’s just the beginning of a new battle.  But you will get through it xxx

Hello mrsvanilla, I have just come back from my oncologist nine month check and mentioned about the dilators. I started out on the first set of the silicone dilators and found them much easier due to the tapered ends. I then turned to the pink NHS ones in which I still cannot insert the largest. I’m quite petite and don’t know if that has anything to do with it. She said she isn’t worried as I can get the next size down inside. But I still have not had intercourse as I am scared of causing disappointments. But I was told about a silicone ring called an oh nut which the man puts on his penis (sorry for being graphic) and it helps those who experience painful intercourse by preventing deep penetration but apparently the partner feels like he is having full penetration. I have read reviews on their site and it sounds very promising. I wonder if anyone on here has actually heard or used one. We need to feel in control and it shouldn’t be painful for us. 

Thank you Jaycee, will check it out - maybe a trip to Ann Summers is in order!

Thank you, I had not heard of using coconut oil, I will give it a try. 

I’m five years out of my anal cancer treatment. Still sex is very painful. So painful that I just as soon not have it anymore. But my dr says I need to keep using the dilator. I use plenty of lubricant. After sex, the skin on the outside of my vagina, splits and oh boy the burning while urinating........

Doesn’t the numbing cream cause your husband to be numb as well? That’s what I found when I was prescribed lanocaine. My husband said, I can’t feel a thing. 

Hey, without being too personal (sadly after going through this disease/treatment all dignity is out the window) lol.    I used it all around the entrance only and not inside so it just helped with the initial entering and he didn’t really notice it at all.    

Hi

im nearly 5 years post treatment and thought I would never have a sex life again! I bought a silicon vibrator so much more comfortable than those pink hard plastic things!  I was told I could never have oestrogen pessaries  but use a non oestrogen one.  I didn’t have sex for 3 years.  It’s not the same and I’m prone to water infections now but glad to have something and a wonderful partner.  My husband took off!  We won’t talk about that!  I find slower is better and just don’t rush and relax.  Good luck xx