My 91 year old dad is coming to the end of his time. He has prostrate cancer with bone mets, and is now riddled with it. It looks as though he has spine compression into the bargain. He’s a proud man and went with pain for a while before telling us how bad it was. He’s pretty much bed bound and has been for the last three weeks or so. Although he did appear in the hall today like a creeping Jesus and scared the life out of me. He’s mostly sleeping, hasn’t eaten anything since Saturday, drinking very little, but when he is awake he still has his sparkle. He started a syringe driver yesterday, and seems more comfotable. His breathing is rattle, shallow, with pauses and then heavy. We know we are close but am I a horrible person to wish him just to close his eyes and sleep? I feel so, so guilty for thinking this but just want his suffering to end. He must have the heart of an ox to still be here.
I am sorry your dad is getting towards the end of his life. My brother in law died of metastatic prostate cancer a few years ago and I can relate to what your dad’s last few weeks have been like. It becomes a question of ensuring he is comfortable and his pain is managed as well as possible. Of course you are not horrible to wish this could end. No one likes to see a loved one suffer and it’s distressing for all concerned. And of course you will mourn him when the inevitable does happen. I wish you all well.
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