Hi everyone, I'm new here. My dad is receiving palliative treatment at home, he has bile duct cancer with a prognosis of a few weeks to maybe 2 months. Recently we have seen his mood shift from being occasionally grumpy to constantly being irritated, frustrated, and now sometimes tipping over into anger. It's affecting the whole family's ability to be there and care for him as the attacks are occasionally personal.
We know that his progressive disease might be causing the issue, and we are speaking to various health specialists about possible medication to help. But I am interested to know how other families have dealt with this, seeing the personality change in their loved one at such a crucial time towards the end of their life.
I just want to be there for him, but he's pushing me away all the time. I arranged for reflexologist to come but he refused to have complimentary treatment. I just feel helpless. Appreciate advice or even just words of support from anyone who's been through this. We try to just breathe and not take anything he says personally and acknowledge his feelings, but it's so hard to stay calm all the time when you're caring for him around the clock.
Sammy
Hi Sammy102
A few years ago a close relative of mine had a fairly quick descent through pancreatic cancer that had spread to his liver. It brought a lot of pain that was difficult to manage but also frustration that he rapidly became unable to do the things he wanted to do. I think a level of personality change is inevitable. As you indicate it’s really the cancer talking, not your dad. You are bound to all feel helpless but continuing to be there for him is probably the most important thing to do. I have metastatic cancer myself, although not yet in a late stage. That said, I would probably also push a reflexologist away. When you are going through something like this, you get prodded and poked so much the last thing you want is someone else adding to it, even if it might help. I suffer with peripheral neuropathy so my feet are tingly and irritated, and I ran a mile when someone tried to organise a foot massage for me!
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