I'm not usually one for asking for help in this way but I'm honestly at the end of my tether and would like some words of wisdom and support from anyone who has been there and worn the t-shirt. My husband was diagnosed with stage 3 throat cancer in Jan 2025, after initially being told by his GP that he had tonsillitis. He went through brutal treatment for most of the year and we thought we were coming out the other end alright. But then Feb this year he was unwell again and it seems that the cancer had metastatized to his lungs and spine. He was put forward for a clinical trial for the cancer vaccine at a hospital out of our area but after several visits and lots of lost time they told him he was too poorly for the trial. He's now been started on Immunotherapy locally. He's been told by letter from the Oncologist that he is now on palliative care but we're not sure what that means as nothing else has been put in place. He seems to be going downhill fast with severe pain/weight loss/breathing difficulties/swollen feet/extreme constipation due to morphine/zero sleep. It came to a head today after several days of him crying with pain due to extreme constipation (despite taking max amount of laxitive). We've been in touch with the treatment helpline who told him to get a GP appointment for pain management, advised not to attend hospital due to waiting times. Saw Duty GP who said she would prescribe different laxitive and stronger pain relief, got to chemist and found that pain relief had not been prescribed, only different laxitive, resulting in more chasing up to get it prescribed. Long story short, it just seems like a constant battle to get him any help. He has an appointment with the Oncologist next week at which we will tell all about this. I've needed to practically stop working now to look after him, he's getting sick pay from his work but I'm self employed so can't claim any benefits, money is getting very tight which is adding to the problem. I just don't know what to do now. My health isn't great (treated for long term depression, high blood pressure, tricky menopause, psoriasis) which is being exacerbated by our situation. Apologies for the 'poor me' explanation but any advice would be very welcomed. Should I be asking for more help? What should he be getting when on palliative care? Thanks.
