It's been a while since I was last on this forum. I want to say thank you again to everyone who replied to my last message.
Since I last posted, my husband has basically become housebound and is reaching a point where he won't be able to get out of bed. He has new and worse pain every day, is hardly eating, taking increasing amounts of morphine.. he believes he is close to the end now (probably he hopes he is) but I feel it's possible that he could go on for weeks yet.
A few weeks ago he stopped wanting to have any visitors. He put off his son who wanted to visit this week as well as other family and friends. As it is just me and him in the flat, apart from the occasional visit from the GP or nurse, it is all on me to deal with his care and attempt to manage my emotions as I watch him get worse day by day. I am trying to persuade him that it might be necessary or just helpful to have carers sometimes so that I can go to work or out for part of the day at least without being worried about him, but at the moment he doesn't want that. Sometimes I would love just to have a friend come over in the evening and keep me company, but I can't..
My husband was once the most social, people-focussed person you could hope to meet, always interested in and chatty with everyone, the life of any party, so to see him like this is very sad. I wonder if this withdrawal from family and friends at end of life is something others have witnessed or experienced? I don't want his son and others to feel that they've been excluded or rejected by him at the end. I don't think he means to reject anyone, he is just so exhausted and sick that he can't face other people any more..
If anyone here has experience of this and feels able to share it, l'd be grateful to hear
