New and Useless

SamJas 11 hours ago

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Decided to join this as my Dad who has COPD was diagnosed with lung cancer and treatment isn't an option.

He lives in Manchester and I live in Scotland and we communicate via Whatsapp and tonight was our weekly catch up.

He was supposed to speak to someone from Macmillan this week but after reading the info he was given he and his wife decided not to go ahead as it as they think it is too soon to worry about whatever. He says he will get in touch when he isn't well. I understand this but I know cancer can creep up on you and before you know it it is too late. I just want him to take control before he can't. This led me to getting upset and we ended the phone call.

Even with his COPD I would suggest things to make his and his wife's life easier and I would hit a brick wall.

I know this is probably a nothing but I have ASD and so been spiralling a bit. I guess this is why I have joined

KMox 9 hours ago

Hi, so sorry to hear about your Dads diagnosis, I’m guessing the distance might make it feel harder. It’s such a lot to process.

I have just joined here this afternoon and the title of this jumped out to me. My mom has been diagnosed with 2 primary cancers and one has spread. She has been told it is non-curative. I have ADHD + Dyslexia.

My mom is similar to what you describe, and refuses to talk about things, accept any form of emotional support, likes groups or counselling, and even tells fibs to people about things she has done. She doesn’t want anyone to know, she is estranged from family members and my brother and she refuses to let us tell anyone.

I joined because I’m finding it increasingly difficult to support her and cycling between guilt, frustration and despair. I wonder if it’s a generational thing as we have discovered my mom seems to avoid things and it’s like if you don’t talk about something it isn’t real. If that makes sense.

I feel like I must seem selfish and lack empathy, but I’m not trying to make it about myself. I’m trying my best to support her and be there for her and it’s very difficult.

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