My best friend of many, many years is losing her battle with stage 4 bowel cancer. We’re just waiting to hear when she’ll be moved to a hospice. My mum also lost her battle with cancer so I have experience with it but this is hitting so much harder. My mum was elderly but my friend isn’t.
She was diagnosed in November after being fobbed off by her GP which I’m really angry about, she presented with all the signs that are on the tv advert but still he didn’t pick it up. I have to let that go. By the time she was diagnosed she was already at secondary stage and it was all too late. They’re saying she just has a few weeks left, she can’t eat, has a stomach drain in which is draining everything she drinks. She’s being supported at home by the nurses until she moves to the hospice.
How do I get through this? I’m so tearful at the moment but I want to get myself in check to be supposed of her.
Hello JCH187
I am really sorry to hear that your best friend is so unwell at the moment with cancer.
It must be hard and bring up memories of your Mum and I understand why it feels so unfair as your friend is younger.
I am glad that she is having support at home and hope that her move to the hospice provides the support that you will all need.
How do you get through it? One day at a time and if the day is too much, then break it down into chunks. Talk to people around you, friends, family, the nurses. Share how you are feeling. Do give the Support Line a call as well, if you feel it would help- sometimes it can feel easier to talk to someone who is outside the situation.
Sadness is natural and for me I found my emotions could be very up and down and it would help at times, just to go with the flow. Bottling things up is not good. Try to keep some sort of routines- this helped us. Also time outside in the fresh air can be good mentally, helps you clear your head and then you can feel better able to cope with it. That's what we found anyway. Hopefully some others will be along to give you ideas of what helped them.
In our family we have dealt with cancer in a parent and I have been treated for it myself. I know that your friend will take some comfort from having you there for her.
I hope that your friend is as comfortable as possible and I hope that you have time with her to do whatever you need to.
If you need anything, you know where we are.
Jane
