My stepdad has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and he is refusing all help, apart from me. I’ve explained that he will have to get extra help at some point as I’m not going to be able to do it all myself. He wants to die at home and doesn’t want to go into care. Would it be better having some kind of authority or power of attorney put in place?? In case it happens that he can’t make decisions
Hello Anniec25
I am really sorry to hear of your Step dad's diagnosis of cancer.
It must be hard to have him refusing help other than yourself. While it is important that his wishes are listened to, it is also important that you both have the support you need, both practically and emotionally.
I know when I got my own diagnosis of cancer and also when we had a diagnosis within my family, it did take a while to process things and make any sort of decisions. Partly its the shock of diagnosis. I had a great cancer nurse specialist and I wonder what support there is around your step dad and whether there is anyone connected to his care that you can talk about his specific needs and wants. I know with my own family other than the oncologist, we had the nurse team, the GP and district nurses involved.
I will pop a link here that may be of some help.
Supporting someone with cancer | Macmillan Cancer Support
Palliative care for people living with cancer | Macmillan Cancer Support
With regard to power of attorney it is not something that I have personally dealt with but I wonder whether it would be an idea to get some advice and support by calling the Support Line. It's not an easy thing to support someone with cancer and sometimes a listening ear can really help. The Support Line can also do a search to see what local support is available in your own area. I wonder if there is a Maggies centre near you.
Maggie's | Everyone's home of cancer care
I hope this helps a bit and that you can move forward with getting some much needed support with your Step dad.
Jane
