Spinning into stillness, my grandson has brain cancer and my sister is receiving hospice care.

When your mind whirls into stillness, the magnitude is too much , the worry, guilt, wait , limbo is too great. 

My mind has divided into two. I switch between them ,if I don't I will sink. 

I mentally flip when people ask how things are ,like a divide in a box of files. I talk in facts, not emotions, not in want or wishes.  

I get frustrated when people moan about trival , when people say when I.... to give me their opinion, what they did when they were in a similar situation. But it's never a similar situation.  

When you what ? 

I want to scream at the idiot that cut me up on the round about . 

I want to scream at the person who just stops when they are walking in front of me

I want to scream, but my head has spinned into stillness.