Dint know what to do

Hi Bluecow, What a dreadful time for you, your sister and of course your Mum.  It sounds as though your Dad cannot help as he is frail himself.  It really sounds as though your Mum needs some help, and I would have thought the hospital would have put a care package in before she came home, but obviously that did not happen.  I think you should perhaps get onto Social Services, I know your Mum does not want anyone in, and who can blame her, its an invasion of her privacy, but at the end of the day her and your Dad need some support, and so do you and your sister.  I really think that is the best thing you can do.  Perhaps they will get some carers in to help, you will just have to be firm with your Mum, and tell her it is because you love her, you want the best for her, to make things easier for her.  I know some carers and they are lovely people, your Mum will probably really like them, once she gets used to them.  I am sorry I am not an expert on these matters, but just saw your post and though what an awful situation..but stay strong.

Marychar2046 thanks for replying just getting on to this forum has been a big help being able to talk about it. She absolutely will not have anyone in but somethings got to give. Mentally she is not in a good place and I get that but hopefully we will find a compromise.  Thanku

Hey lovely. You're right — something has to give. You and your sister cannot do this on your own. Have you contacted Macmillan at all to talk through all of this? I'm currently exploring all the options for support myself as my mum is also going through this, and I hear they can offer quite a bit to help. I really, really hope things have eased up for you. 

Hi 

Im so sorry to hear you are struggling. We are in a similar position. It’s very hard isn’t it? Not only are you dEaling with the shock of a cancer diagnosis you become a full time carer and need to juggle work, caring and home. I don’t have any suggestions unfortunately but I just wanted to say that I understand how you feel and appreciate how hard it is. Sending big hugs.

Hi 40Towers, GSeagull and BLUECOW, I'm so sorry to hear what you are all going through, sadly something I have been through twice, can I suggest you all phone your GPs and get a referral to the district nurses and your local hospice and their palliative care team, PS, they are NOT just for end of life care, they are there to make your parents s comfortable as they can so your parents can make the most of the time they have and they will also support the family as well, your district nurse can access equipment, supplies, specialist nurses and support staff, If your parents are not happy with strangers just say there here to support you, as MaryChar said the nurses and support workers are lovely people and will soon be making friends with everyone, my best wishes to you all, take care.

Eddie xx