Supporting daughter with stage 4 lung cancer

I completely sympthasize with you on this. We've recently found out similar with my dad and I've only just come to terms with the fact the treatment will only pro long his life not cure him. Its so hard watching them suffer but try and stay as positive as you can, I know its easier said than done. I have days were I think I can't see my dad anymore and then I get little snippets of the quirky ways he does or says thing and I think he is still there, I just need to cherish every moment I have now. If you ever want to talk just reach out... sending love and prayers 

Dear Tika, I so hope that the radiotherapy helps your daughter and improves her quality of life. I am in a similar sitaion. My 44 year old daughter has metastasised breast cancer. She has a 14 year old daughter and a 24 year old autistic son. Her husband died suddenly 2 years ago of epilepsy. I am in another country so she feels and is so alone. I have severe arthritis and cannot go to her. I have always been a very tough old bird through life’s challenges but this has totally broken me. I feel at the edge of crying all th time and this heavy blanket of grief envelops me. At the moment I think she is in a desperation faze of looking at private alternative therapies in Mexico that cost thousands of dollars. It is so difficult to advise her and so an awful to not hold her and hug her. Bless you and your daughter I really empathise with your heartache. 

You’ve hit the nail on the head of how I’m feeling too similar situation dad has stage 4 lung cancer and his treatment is too prolong as well. He’s so down at the moment hasn’t started treatment yet, starts tomorrow but I too get glimpses of his jokey self and hopefully we’ll all get more of that. Sending my love to you and everyone else effected by this horrible disease x 

"there are so many questions that I dare not ask" really resonates with me. I am so sorry this has happened to you. 3 years ago it happened to me. My 40 year old son was diagnosed with terminal stomach cancer. I wanted to know everything about his cancer and his prognosis, but then at the same time I didn't because I knew there ws no hope. He too was unable to have chemo because it was too late. The worst possible thing that can happen to any mother is to lose her child. I do hope your family are being supportive. I don't expect to get over the loss of my son, I think of him many times a day. When I heard the news I cried non stop for months. I felt so helpless. You bring them into the world and then you have to watch them die. It's unbearable. My heart goes out to you, and I do hope your poor daughter doesn't suffer any pain. Physical that is, the news must be a terrible psychological pain for her.

Thank you Louise, it is so very hard being a ‘cheer leader’ but trying to look for every possible positive word and taking from that what I can. I do hope you get more with your dad. Sending hugs and keep in touch

Hi, thank you for your kind words. I cannot imagine not being able to hold my daughter through this. She has 4 children the eldest is 24 and the youngest 16, he is partially sighted but she has brought him up to accept his blindness and carry on! I know what you mean when you say a ‘blanket of grief envelops you’ and trying to shrug that off is not easy. I sent my daughter a blanket with arms printed on it so every time she puts it around her my arms are holding her. That makes me smile. Perhaps something like that may help you. Please stay in touch. Sending warm gentle hugs to you.

It is a hard time and staying positive is incredibly hard particularly when you know what the outcome will be. I am hoping they will prolong her life for a couple of years. But deep down

Thank you, your message is very kind yet very sad. It does make you feel incredibly helpless, is all I want to do is take it all away, I keep asking myself how did this happen, where was I, why didn’t I see it ?? All silly questions but nevertheless my brain keeps asking them. 
I am so sorry you lost your son,and I know no words will make that loss any easier for you. Remember the love you had and still have, he will be holding your hand all through your sad days. Sending love and hugs.

The blanket is a wonderful idea. Thank you. x

Hi Tina. Where did you get the blanket? I have done a search and haven’t come up with anything but blankets with sleeves.