Struggling to cope with moms terminal cancer

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Well where do I start my mom 65 years old just over 3 weeks ago we get the call to say moms got cancer we were told very little in the beginning however we are now aware mom has primary cancer in her bowel and secondary in her liver and also it’s in her back and bones I feel let down that’s it’s taken a kidney appointment to get a full picture of what was happening my poor mom has had 48 appointments in the last 18 months and now they tell us she has cancer and there’s no treatment I feel cheated of my mom let down by the nhs sad for my dad sad that she won’t see her grandchildren grow up our Macmillian nurse has been great and is helping all moms family come to terms with the diagnosis 

sending love to all other families who are facing a uncertain time xxx 

  • Hi  

    Welcome to the online community. I'm very sorry to read of your mom's diagnosis. It is very difficult and shocking to read that she has had so many appointments and it hasn't been investigated until now. That is difficult to deal with and will take time to process. Please keep talking to each other as a family and supporting each other. It is good to hear that your mom's Macmillan nurse has been a good support. If you need further advice or support, the Macmillan helpline is excellent, this is the link to contact https://www.macmillan.org.uk/about-us/contact-us

    I very much hope that your mom is comfortable and is being kept pain free. Best regards to you all.

    A x

  •  

    I'm so sorry to hear this. I am going through a similar situation with my mum who is also 65. Told by doctors that her lung tumour was small and they werent concerned to being told its now terminal and spread to her liver. They also cant do anything. We only found out a few days ago and I am still struggling to process it. 

    Have the doctors given your mum an expectancy at all? My mum was told 6-12 months but I sometimes feel knowing that is worse. Its praying on my mind. 

    Big hugs to you. 

  • Hi 

    thanks for your words we are trying to support each other and we are trying to get moms pain relief right but so far it’s not working feeling lost at the thought of a hospice 

  • Hi

    Really sorry to hear about your mom too it’s devastating we haven’t been given a time yet even through we have asked we are seeing a decline with mom daily and the pain she’s in is really bad and Macmillian nurse has been great helping next steps are a nerve drug Gabapentin 100mg at night alongside her Oxycodone if this doesn’t work they have mentioned a hospice 

    xxxx 

  • Hi  

    Don't be frightened at the thought of a hospice if that is what your mum needs. They are experts in pain relief, they do this all the time, that is their purpose, to make a person comfortable. You can only do your best at the moment. Have you got any local palliative care nurse numbers? They can acquire stronger meds if needed. Ring Macmillan and get advice if needed. Link to contact https://www.macmillan.org.uk/about-us/contact-us

    A x

  • Thank you  . My mum is currently on oral morphine but she is still very much with it at the moment. She is able to do things herself although she cant walk too far with her COPD. We are looking to get some support/advice on what the next steps are. When would you recommend asking for Macmillan nurse help? xx