Struggling to cope with mum’s terminal cancer

Good morning. 

I am feeling a bit lost and unsure of how to help myself with how I am feeling. 

In February this year, my mum was diagnosed with incurable, stage 4 lung cancer. It quickly took hold and she has not been able to do anything other than sit in the living room chair since around April. She has never smoked, always led a healthy life and I just can’t understand why it has chosen her to attack. 

I feel so angry at the world. How could this happen to my 65 year old mum? She won’t see my brother or I get married, or become and grandparent etc. Cancer has ripped through our lives and I don’t know how to deal with the day-to-day as a result. 

I’ve got a very demanding job which involves a lot of pressure, hours, workload etc and was already struggling with OCD, anxiety etc even before this struck. 

Even getting up, getting showered and ready for the day feels like an insurmountable task. 

i could continue typing for ages but those are the main points I suppose. 

I’ve contacted charities, have spoken with family and friends and paused work for the time being and I am waiting on a therapy referral. 

Just want some words of wisdom from anyone who understands as I don’t know anyone who is in a similar situation. 

Sending love and strength to anyone else who feels this way too.