I can’t believe im writing this after completing 7 weeks of radiotherapy, 3 in the hospital with me by his side 24/7. They were very good gave me a proper bed etc. we went to normal oncology appointment last week and she told us that the Masses that have appeared on his face are cancer and it’s inoperable and he’s not well enough for treatment to control it, it’s a very aggressive type the masses appeared 2 weeks ago, deep down I knew but not this bad.
he has squamous cell carcinoma HPV positive (throat cancer and in his mouth) now two huge masses below each ear each side.
She told us months to live, he’s talking no about possibly getting married even never even been willing to consider it before. 16 years together he’s 43. I don’t know how to feel or even operate im his sole carer but disabled myself. He just keeps saying he wants to make sure I’ll be ok as we don’t have much and no life insurance due to his other health issues.
any advice I’m already after he asked while having treatment last week of sorting his LPA. What do I do next he’s already under pallative because of his pain problems
I’ve always wanted to get married but it feels sad and strange and I wonder why now?
what can I do to help him? I’m up in the night everyday seeing to his needs and in the day my parents help me as much as they can
he posphoned his birthday so we’re having a close families parties one for each so not too many people only our parents and brothers know till it’s all tied up in a knot. Im trying to make it memorable themed his favourite a cake to be proud of, plus the places he wants to visit working on planning that.
due to his memory issues I already manage all his care and medical people and his medications and feeds etc (he has a peg)
Hello Wolf79,
I'm so sorry you are going through this, and my heart goes out to you. Dealing with this situation can feel overwhelming emotionally and physically and people say they get through by taking each day as it comes. That was my experience too. As I'm sure you know, it's essential to look after yourself too. Easier said than done, I know. But if you don't eat at least something and get a bit of rest it's very difficult to cope and keep going and keep your own strength up.
I'd keep the health professionals involved in his care informed and updated, and ask for their advice how you can help.
Since you mentioned it, and said how he felt about it, why would you not get married?
With best wishes,
Dunlin
Dunlin
