My dad was given 6-12 months in feb with lung cancer and I a week, he’s gone from making his way upstairs and taking home self to bed. To now I a hospital bed down stair, incontinent, not eating and barley drinking.
it’s happens so fast I’m struggling with it I’ve gone from full time working to full time caring
changing his bum
changing his conveen
Washing him
trying get drink down him and his meds
we have district nurses daily visits and Marie curie night sits . He’s been sitting in his chair all week for parts of day as that what he loves, but today has not moved from bed.
just wondering how long I’ve got and I have to keep leaving the room as it’s so upsetting and don’t want him to se me upset.
inlook at him when his arms are flailing and think just go in your sleep and then feel guilty cause he has lucid moments and makes me laugh and I think no stay.
it’s such a cruel illness long and bowl 2 primary’s
Hi @sam_t,
Sorry to read about your dad and the impact his illness has on you both. I can definitely relate to the feelings of guilt with my father though in his case it was not cancer but we lost his bit by bit to a series of seizures. I also recognize the bits about lucid moments, the last day I spent with my father in the supervised flat my parents then lived in was mostly spent watching only fools and horses, something he really enjoyed and a very powerful memory for me.
What we often talk about on here is pre-grief, that sense of loss of the future we expected that can cut in at almost any time. Even a expert oncologist will struggle with how long an individual will live though - they can take a guess based on averages but then nobody is average, no two cancers identical.
I don't know how much of that helps really, but did want you to know you are not alone.
<<hugs>>
Steve
