Struggling to cope

Just wanted to say hello and how tough for you and your husband.  Managing the uncertainty and unknown time scales seems so difficult, and also very common on this website.

I am a year in and my partner is not expected to last till Oct, but you never know. He is off sick from work now as only 61.  For me, holding down a job as well as the worry is tough.   I guess so dependent on what you do and how supportive your workplace are. I have found that it takes me so much more effort to work that I am really mentally drained and also not doing particularly good work. I negotiated going down to three days per week with flexibility to use the days around caring. That helped and I have to make sure that I use work as respite for me (something else to think about) and also manage others at work so that cancer is not the focus. I give my manager updates and say that I want to get on with work at work. 

I have read others advice about making sure that as a carer, you build in time to restore yourself to cope with the long haul. 

This forum has been a life saver for me. A place to spill out and then go back to friends and work without being too bogged down. I hope you can find some support here, not necessarily answers but people who understand.