Hello, sorry if its a bit too detailed or saddening I just wanted to get it down somewhere.
This is basically a repost in a different group but I'm about to turn 19 and Mum's had breast cancer for over 2 years. A very difficult and draining journey as I'm sure you're aware, I can't imagine what she has to go through. Especially the thought that it will kill her.
It's a lot more detailed and complicated than this but in short we went with chemo initially, it destroyed her. She had the breast off near the start but around a month ago developed lymphoma and her arm, on the removed breast side, swelled up immensely. She was a healthy weight but soon after the first round of chemo she shrunk, she's now a tiny woman with a huge arm and insanely aggressive cancer. The area where her breast was is red raw and bleeds and is painful to the touch with a now black cancerous lump on the front. she's got cancer in her other breast and elsewhere. It's scary to look at her sometimes she looks like a zombie and she is devastated when she looks in the mirror, I try to imagine how she must feel being like that, but I will never understand to the extent. She gets fluid build up in her lung and it needs to be drained regularly. When she was in hospital getting the drain put in I could feel the pain in my side obviously just from my mind, but I was trying to imagine having to deal with a big old drain in your ribs. I wish I could take some of the pain away.
She's getting a lot worse she is in pain probably 70-80% of the time and I find it very hard to deal with sometimes, I get quite overwhelmed. It's so hard to think what she's going through. Dad works all day but when mum needs him he's there so I help out around the house, I cook, I clean because dad doesn't have time for it, I'm there for mum when I can be, but the feeling of having no way to help when she's in agony is suffocating. Not sure how to shake the heavy feeling sometimes.
