Things feel real and unreal. Today, had the hospice at home nurse visit. Feels like a strange sort of graduation to the next step. They talked to my partner about dying at home and end of life, resus, preferences etc. Talked about how they can put in hospital bed and nurses when needed (fingers crossed). We have The Yellow File - a friend had this two weeks before she died, has all the info and pages for nurses to write notes in). And the Box of Controlled Meds for out of hours will be delivered. People still cant say when and we dont expect them too. His son gets married on 21 Oct. People still hopeful ish, but making clear statements about being realistic, or say well its something to aim for even though its a bit unlikely. And bizarrely, he is feeling great on a week of steroids, put on 4 kilos, talking 19 to the dozen, and out on a motorbike and dashing off to buy and make Japanese food ? Its lovely to see him so full of life and enjoying things, particularly the steroids. Bit of a head spin.
