Partner has advanced melanoma - don’t know where to turn

Hi LolaLouise, I'm fairly new in terms of posting. Sounds like you and your partner are going through a real time of it.. My man has lung cancer, diagnosed as terminal end of last year. His bloody minded attitude got us through much of it; chemo was.the thing that made him very ill - no surprises - and he's recently had a second dose of immunotherapy.  Hospitalised today, query pneumonia and ongoing trapped nerve/sciatica the latest.

You two are so young  (says me, an early and mid 50 y/o ) and sound like you're  dealing with loads.

Don't know about you but but things are tougher  when watching your partner struggling so much when they have often seemed so on top of things.

I wish you both all the best, strength and wellness.x

Lolalouise, I feel for you so much. I am now in my early 40's, my husband diagnosed over 2 years with a primary unknown cancer, incurable. Your husband sounds to be in a similar place at the moment to mine just over a year ago however in my husbands case immunotherapy worked quite well against the cancer but was stopped and he was hospitalised in DEC due to rare side effects, we have been told in its unlikely there will be any further treatment. Last scan in feb showed cancer present but stable - I suppose you could call this our miracle in our journey - I don't think we will be getting any more. We are currently waiting for more recent results, let's hope our miracle of more time continues. I can empathise with you as I have seen him so ill and frail at times, in unbearable pain where I have had to dose him up, stroke and rock him to sleep ( the memory of this itself makes me cry) these are the things your family, friends etc. Do not see. It is so hard at times and again I feel for you because it reads as you and your husband are in that time now. I can understand that you and your husband feel broken we have been there and very often return to that feeling - it is so hard seeing your loved one so ill my heart truly goes out to you. Take care of yourself Lolalouise x

Hi and a very warm welcome to the online community

I'm very sorry to hear what you and your husband are going through at the moment and I wondered if you'd like to join us over in the melanoma group. There you'll find lots of stage 4 people who are on various combinations of drugs which is helping to keep their cancer stable or reducing the tumours.

To join just click on the link I've created and then choose 'join this group' on the page that opens. To save you typing this out again just copy and paste it into a new discussion in the melanoma group.

I hope to see you over there

x

Hi 

Thank you for this. I have joined the group & tried to post but it said it couldn’t be published at this time - I assume sometimes comments get checked before they are published but if not I will try again later.

Thanks for pointing me in the direction of the group x

Thank you for your reply & good wishes. I was really sorry to read your situation too. It’s blooming tough isn’t it! My partner sounds similar to yours in terms of he’s just been so determined to carry on & get through it, it’s quite a shock when you see them really struggling. I hope you can get some positive news from the hospital. I just hate being in there so can only imagine how awful it is for them. Take care & all my best wishes to you both x

Thank your for your message. It’s so helpful to hear from someone who has been there & to hear you got through it & had some positive news & some stability for your husband. I do hope that continues for you. 

As you say, it’s just incredibly tough & hard for others not going through it to understand. I think the worst thing is feeling so helpless & knowing you can not do anything in your power to take the pain away or change the situation.

Sending good thoughts your way x

Hi

I'm glad you've found the group and I can see that you've responded to another member. Everyone there knows what it's like to either have melanoma or to have a friend, relative or partner with melanoma. Hopefully we can all support each other through good times and bad.

Although your partner hasn't responded to treatment so far his next line of treatment might do the trick. Never give up hope as you don't know what drugs are just around the corner. He could also be eligible for the various ongoing trials.

x