Hi all
Im Sally Cinnamon (not my real name but the stone roses are alright!) I’m 31 and my mum was diagnosed with incurable cancer in both lungs last week and it’s spread to the bottom of her back.
We only found this out because she had a sore leg which then moved into her hip and lower back, my partner and I drove her to the hospital and they did an MRI scan. the hospital looked after my mum the week she was in and have acted quickly. They have told us it’s incurable. She has a sore leg since Christmas but we thought it was a trapped nerve, her GP was no help.
im an only child. it’s hard, it’s horrible to know my mum and best friend is going through this. My mums single, in her 50s and lives alone. I’m petrified to leave her alone, all I’ve done is text and phone her constantly. I went out with my boyfriend yesterday and tried to have a good time and it’s all I spoke about for 5 hours. He must be drained by me going on and on!! I text my mum the whole time I was out, I’m surprised she’s not told me to go away!! It’s all my friends are speaking about. I just want a day where I’m not speaking or thinking about it. I wake up and think it’s a dream then realise it’s not.
We’re getting the results of her biopsy soon and I will have to search questions online cause I don’t know what to ask. I don’t know anything, it’s in one ear out the next when someone speaks to me, I’ve had to take photos of when she’s to take her steroids cause I’ll forget. My mum is in great health even though she’s not. The drs are stunned at how fit and healthy she is. It makes it seem not real. But the painkillers and 5 day radiotherapy are disguising the pain, she couldn’t put one leg infront of the other before we took her to hospital. I’m scared to see her like this again. It was horrific.
I need to keep my spirits up, i need to smile infront of my mum and look after myself . I won’t have a clear, healthy mind or energy if i don’t, then i can’t look after my mum. Can anyone recommend anything to help with the anxieties this brings? I keep thinking about the end...about what it’s going to be like. About how sick she will get having chemo, how sick she will get without the chemo. I’m tired and I feel helpless. But it’s time to get answers now.
