My sister was told yesterday she has terminal cancer

Hi Karen

I'm really sorry to hear that your sister has been told that her cancer is terminal. Although I've not been in the position you now find yourself in I can totally understand how devastated you must feel.

I noticed that you hadn't had a response to your post in this group but you have had two very helpful replies in New to the Community and, if you haven't seen them, just click on the link I've created.

If your sister is still in pain then you should advise her to speak to her palliative care team as they may need to adjust her medication.

Sending a supportive ((hug))

Hi Karen,

Sorry to hear about your Sis.

May I comment that you should not worry about what you cannot do - because even remotely, you can do much.

My partner recently passed away after being given an incurable diagnosis 18 months previously.

She received a huge amount of comfort from folks who sent her daily text messages, emails and cards - it is amazing the uplifting impact these regular nudges of love can have.

Best wishes to both of you.

Karen x,

In my experience, the best way to be supportive when not physically present is to just be a good listener. Even if you can't understand what your sister is saying, listen to her voice and talk about things. When my mother lost her voice, I spent a lot of time talking about past good memories that we both shared. I don't know if it made a difference but it seemed to keep her relaxed those final days. 

Best wishes

Hi Karen, so sorry to hear your sister  is terminally ill. I am in a similar situation with my husband. All the advice I would offer is to be a good listener. If she wants to rant,cry, or scream then you listen and support her through it. You also need support and I would say to continue to post and read here as there are many sympathetic and supportive people who absolutely understand how you feel. You are not alone. X

Understanding