How to cope with husbands suffering

Hi Juneco

I myself am in the same situation as yourself my hubby was diagnosed with bile duct cancer back in Oct 2018 in dec 2018 went in for a whipple's surgery  but was abandoned  dew to cancer being to aggressive.  He was in hospital for 3 weeks and came home for Christmas. 2nd Jan 2019 went to oncologist only to be told no treatment  could be offered. Palliative care at home package was put  in place. He was given 2 weeks. He still with us but very very weak sleeps 23 out 24hrs has  not eaten since 15th Jan and only  has Water to take him meds . I really do not understand how he is still with us am finding it harder every day to see him this way and nothing I can do to relieve his torment either. So I do feel for you and wished I had the answers for both of us and all alike. 

I have just asked for help with his care which I feel bad doing but I am losing the feeling of being his partner and I am that first and foremost. 

Sorry me going on know. 

Your not alone hun there are a fair few out there that feel the same as us.

Xxx 

Hi stels65

Thank you for your reply, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. You mustn't feel bad for asking for help, I have done that very thing this week, someone from the hospital team came out today and is putting in place some help for us including a bed downstairs as he has been sleeping on the settee because he is not comfortable in our bed and is now struggling to get up stairs even with a stairlift. I totally understand the way you feel about losing the feeling of being his partner, we have always decided everything together, he's not capable of that now and it's hard making all of the decisions myself. Like you I just want to be with him and  give him all my love while I can. 

Being able to speak about this with someone who understands what it's like helps.

Sending hugs to you, hope you get the help you need. 

Xxxx

Hi again sending hugs back at you. 

My hubby has a hospital bed downstairs  (we are lucky that we had a bedroom downstairs which was are daughters she has moved up to are old room) and I sleep on a camp bed next to him.  His has a special mattress which is an air mattress (as he has bed sore from his stay in hospital which just will not heal) if you have the same coming you will  have to us flat sheet as fitted ones slip off. 

Feel free to message me any time hun xx 

Hiya

Thanks for the advice re the sheet, I believe that's the sort of mattress we have coming. I'll let you know.

Hope you have a reasonable night. Speak soon.

xxx

So sorry to hear your story.  My husband has GBM4 too, he has been doing well but we found out this week that his tumour is growing again.   He is so devastated and I can’t make it any better.  It is so hard to see them like this and I know exactly how you feel.   

Hi Lizzie31

im so sorry that your husbands tumour is growing again, I know how you feel it is awful not being able to make them better. All we can do is be there with them and love them. 

I'm sad to have to say my husband passed away 4 weeks ago. It was all rather quicker than anyone had anticipated. We had the funeral yesterday and although a very sad and emotional day it was also very beautiful and amusing in places as we all remembered  what a funny sensitive man he was. I miss him terribly but have a lot of support from friends and family.

Sending my best wishes and hugs to you.

Love

June xxx

Hi June 

I am so sorry for the loss of your husband.   Remember the good times and be happy for them.  Take care of yourself x