First of all I guess, hi I'm new here. My son was diagnosed with Lymphoma in January.
I feel a bit odd that this is my first post here now, we are so close to the end. Its just that it's suddenly hit me really hard.
Diagnosis came in January, the initial dread followed by the good news that it's a very treatable condition. First rounds went well.
Then, in April, fever hit. 5 days of too-high temperature, sore throat, not shifting at all. Ended with an emergency surgery to remove his Hickman line. A surgery that they didn't want to wake him up from. Just over a week in PICU. A solid month in the hospital. But he got better again, he was home for his birthday.
And now it's going again, last round went well. But over the weekend... Temperature rising, mucositis bothering him, and the idea that he might need to go back to hospital.
Except the last time he did, he ended up in a coma. And I just can't.
This morning his temperature is better, but hes still in discomfort, but I just can't shake this. Is this what it's going to be like every time he or his brother spikes a temperature?
I don't even know what I want here. It feels good to have typed it out. I know I need to talk about this more, but as much as I know that it's hard.
I focus so much on the 'good' news in all of this. It's cancer, but he's going to be ok. It's PICU, but the temperature is finally going. I think doing that I sometimes talk myself out of asking for help.
Hi JonAye
Welcome to our community, perhaps the best club nobody ever wants to join. I hope you find it both informative and supportive.
Those temperature spikes can be really difficult, my wife had them and of course while it can be one thing going to hospital getting out again can sometimes be something of a challenge.
It took me a while before I asked for any help, then I ended up walking in to our local Maggies centre. It is amazing how talking or typing out our problems can help give us some clarity and peace.
Something I found quite helpful was looking at your feelings when someone has cancer as I found being able to recognize these emotions and accept them as normal and valid helped to make them less overwhelming.
<<hugs>>
Steve
