Hello everyone
im 55 and my fiancée is 50 we have been together 17 years, he is my love of my life, my soulmate, my best friend, he has been undergoing tests for prostate cancer and Bowel and colon, which after 4 weeks have come back clear, but then, he started not been able to swallow, after a ct scan is has shown a large tumour across his chest they have already said they cannot operate meaning its terminal, he is my 6ft 6 teddy bear, weighig 20 stone with not been able to eat he is down to 16 stone and I’m seeing my love waste away, cry daily, I am totally heart broken, he is now unable to work, watching his taxi been taken away, he has even stripped of his independence, he has started to soil the bed, I am now the only working person in the house and bills coming in. I just can’t cope I sit in bed on a night and cry I’ve been told not to cry in front of him, but hear him crying, I feel I don’t want to be hear anymore it killing mefrom within.
Hi Madizen and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but I am so sorry to hear about your fiancée’s diagnosis…… this is such a challenging time for you both.
I know from experience having been on my cancer journey for over 26 years with two very rare, hard to treat types of Non Hodgkin’s Lymphomas (one incurable), Asbestosis and Prostate Cancer that navigating this journey can be such a stressful and challenging time but talking with and getting support from people who have walked or are walking the ‘exact same' journey can help a lot.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your fiancée and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our general cancer……
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
As always the Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))
