This is my first post and I don’t know what to do in reality. My husband has just been diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic bowel cancer. We are trying to stay positive but I am a very practical person and finding it hard to cope with my husband saying things like “that’s just what the Dr has told us let’s wait and see what the specialists say” but the specialists sent their reports of ultrasound, CT and colonoscopy reports
. they have confirmed it’s stage 4, and it has spread to his liver. I know that there have been advancements in treatment, and I also know that every patient is different in how they react to treatment but I can’t stop my brain going in overdrive and imagining the worst. I am trying to keep him positive and upbeat but when he doubts what the reports say I am finding it hard that he isn’t dealing with what’s in front of him. I feel bad that I am thinking this way
Hi Wifeofthehusband and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but I am sorry to hear about your husband’s diagnosis.
I know from experience having been on my cancer journey for over 26 years with two very rare, hard to treat types of Non Hodgkin’s Lymphomas (one incurable), Asbestosis and Prostate Cancer that navigating this journey can be such a stressful and challenging time but talking with and getting support from people who have walked or are walking the ‘exact same' treatment journey, be it as a patient or caregiver can help a lot.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you look to join and post in our dedicated…….
Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer
……. support groups.
These groups are safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.
As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your husband and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our general cancer……
……. support group where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
As always the Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))
