Hi all,
I am new to this group and I am the main carer for my husband who is 86 and was diagnosed with bowel cancer in January 2026. Unfortunately he has also now become extremely frail and is having no invasive treatment done as our consultant said he would not survive - so is on palliative care.
I would love some ideas on what to entice him to eat - ive done the chocolate, cream cakes, cream in anything that I can. Although he is not eating much (a snail could probably eat more) He is obviously going to the toilet 6/8 times a day and then unfortunately two or three times during the night. I do not want him to get to the stage where is starts to think that no food = no toilet 
Any ideas would be great.
Hi Digitaland a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but I am so sorry to hear about your husband.
I know from experience having been on my cancer journey for over 26 years with two very rare, hard to treat types of Non Hodgkin’s Lymphomas (one incurable), Asbestosis and Prostate Cancer that navigating this journey can be such a stressful and challenging time but talking with and getting support from people who have walked or are walking the ‘exact same' journey can help a lot.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your husband and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our general cancer……
Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
As always the Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
