Wife struggling with hubby's cancer

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We ate 7 weeks into this lymphoma journey, My husband Steve is doing very well considering he was so poorly. So much is changing and has changed. I don't feel like his wife I feel like his nurse, PA, cook etc. Feel selfish just want us back joking, laughing. Not seeing Steve so poorly,fragile so tired. I miss the old Steve.  It's 1st wedding Anniversary next Tuesday certainly not what we expected.