Hello,
I have been living up in Scotland, but my housing wasn't properly secured so I didn't change my GP from England till I knew I was settled.
I got a routine bowel screening test through the post and duly sent it off, thinking, no worries, they always come back clear and we are not a cancer family...
Well, doesn't life have a way of throwing things into the mix.
It turned out they wanted me to have a colonoscopy - it was almost impossible to get transferred from NHS England to NHS Scotland as healthcare in Scotland is devolved, if you change you don't even have the same type of NHS number...
So I thought, ok, I'll come down and have the colonoscopy and then come back home to Scotland - little did I know that this would turn into a cancer diagnosis...
The team here have been helpful, the surgeon seems very competent and confident, but here I find myself in a place I had to all intents and purposes left behind (my flat on the market) and without a lot of support.
The team knew I wanted to return to Scotland asap and the surgeon said he wanted to operate here (as I would have to start from scratch in Scotland and none of us could find out how long waiting lists were) so they tried to fit me in for surgery the next week (which was amazing) but....I came down with a really rotten cough/cold/sinus bug...so it's been postponed.
I live with M.E/CFS and asthma, so I am vulnerable to resp infections.
So, now I find myself here, mostly alone, and self-isolating so I don't catch another bug, and unsure when my new date will come.
Until I got the bug, after the first shock of diagnosis, I thought I was doing mentally ok, but if I'm honest, I'm now starting to struggle a bit and find myself tearful and withdrawn.
I know outcomes are not bad these days, but with the M.E/CFS and the isolation, I'm finding it hard, and am really concerned about how I'm going to cope post-op - I know the fatigue is strong for everyone, but with ME/CFS will make that harder, and the asthma concerns me re chest infections.
Weirdly (and maybe stupidly) I feel less worried about the cancer itself, as my surgeon seems very experienced and confident he can sort me - it's all the ongoing issues that will arise from the op, my underlying conditions and post op recovery....
And I'm rubbish at asking for help...
So, honestly, it's just nice to have somewhere to put all this down.
Statistically I know the outlook isn't so bad, but I feel really scared and tearful.
Life, funny business.
Thanks if you got to the end of this
xx
Hi Quietcat and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I’m Anne, one of the Community Champions here on the Online Community, and although I've had different cancer diagnoses to you I know how scared you're probably feeling right now.
The online community is divided into different support groups so I'm going to recommend that you join the bowel cancer group as you'll then connect directly with others who have the same type of cancer as you.
To join, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
It would be great if you could put something about your diagnosis and proposed treatment into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
