Hi,
My husband was diagnosed with cancer in July. It has been a rollercoaster as he's been very unlucky with health over the years. He had a breakdown 12 months ago and attempted to take his own life. The hospital didn't suspect testicular cancer when a testicle was swollen and painful, it took until weeks after he'd had the area drained in surgery when we found out he had secondary lung cancer, suspected to have come from the testicle that had been removed. We are getting cancer treatment from a different hospital now as we have put in a complaint to the original one.
My husband had a bad reaction to one of his first chemo drugs where he felt like he was being suffocated. He started, last week, the more intensive chemo drug (as they can't now determine which type of testicular cancer it is) and has had a rare side affect from that, where he become extremely tired then became delirious. He is now in critical care and when I visited him yesterday, first time with his eyes open for ages, I felt like he didn't recognise me.
On top of this my stepdaughter has decided she doesn't want to come to ours while he is in hospital, and she has kept herself away. Given her age I know this is normal but I don't think it's healthy and if her dad doesn't make it I don't want her to have regrets. Plus it breaks my heart that she doesn't want to see me or my family. Her mum has never got along with me.
My husband got a dog during his breakdown recovery and I am not a dog person, also disabled, so I am struggling with training and walking (lack of confidence).
I'm so tired, I do have a few friends but I don't like to unload on people that have enough problems of their own. Meanwhile there's much more to my problems than the current circumstances. There are so many places for support that I don't know where to begin. I am having person focused therapy at a local wellbeing hub as it's been noted I always talked about others when asked how I am.
I'm sorry I've rambled on for so long. If you've read to the end I do appreciate it x
Hi MrsPugh634037 and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your husband.
A cancer diagnosis in the family like this can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot….. I have been on my cancer journey for over 25 years so I am not the best person to help you out.
But the Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your husband and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……
……. support group where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
