I was diagnosed with breast cancer in June last year. I've had 5 months of chemotherapy, surgery, breast reduction and radiotherapy. Lately my husband wants to start having sex again. But I don't. My breast are still sore, im now menopausal, im just not in the mood for it. I still have short hair which I hate. I don't feel sexy at all. But he tries it on when he's drunk, then when I say no, he gets in a bad mood, shouts at me that he has needs too and then sleeps on the sofa. I've tried discussing it with him when he's sober and I thought he understood. But as soon as he's drunk again, he ignores all I've said and is making this all my fault. I've told him I don't want the first time to be when he's drunk. But that's the only time he wants it. So today I am getting the silent treatment because I refused sex. I don't know how to sort this out or who to talk to. I've handled all the cancer treatment well and taken it in my stride. I've not really been emotional at all. But this is making me feel like crap and I don't know how to deal with it.
Hi Cas.49 and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
It sounds like you're having a hard time right now so it's great that you feel you can reach out to this community.
As the online community is divided into different support groups, I'm going to recommend that you join the breast cancer group as you'll then connect directly with others who may have had similar experiences to you.
To join, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
Cancer can have an impact on your sex life and a few months ago one of the online team wrote this blog on sex and cancer which you might find helpful. It also includes a video and maybe you and your husband could look at the information together.
It would be great if you could put something about your diagnosis and treatment into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
