My Wife has had a new diagnosis and going through the testing and gathering results stages. She has a 5cm mass in her breast + cancer in 3 lymph nodes. She has had Biopsy and we have the results. She has had a CT scan and had the results. Next stage is an MRI - hopefully next week. Just had results of genetics test and that is positive. The waiting for the next step is difficult but to be fair the hospital seems to be moving things along quite quickly.
My wife is up and down and understandably so!
Any suggestions on how to help her stay calm whilst we start to navigate this extremely difficult period?
Hi Bonnie lad16 and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I’m Anne, one of the Community Champions here on the Online Community, and I was diagnosed with breast cancer in April 2022 so have a good idea how your wife will be feeling right now.
The online community is divided into different support groups so I'm going to recommend that you join the breast cancer group, which is a great place to ask questions, share experiences and get support.
To join, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
It would be great if you could put something about your wife's diagnosis and tests to date into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
Hi. I hope your wife is ok and if she ever wants to talk she can message me anytime. I’ve had all the scans and operations and know how worrying everything is. I find it really helps talking to other people in the same boat. I also found my macmillan breast care nurse really helpful and caring. She can ring them anytime.
I also had positive gene test and this will be treated by removal of other breast and a separate chemotherapy drug (the cancer I had was not caused by the genetic fault though).
I am sorry you are both going through this. Right now just be with her as you wait to find out the results and what the team bring to the table. There will be a lot of decisions ahead and I found this time a huge learning curve. I was advised to find ways to take control such as writing things down like questions I wanted to ask and budding up a picture of what to expect.
No one can be expected be ok with this so let her rant or cry or be quiet as she needs to and don't worry as she will have support soon once all the results are in. Waiting for results is always the hardest - but you do kinda get use to the scariness of that bit and find ways to pace it out.
Its good you came on here and also try to find out what is in your area for support. Macmillan are good place to do this.
Whatever cancer throws your way, we’re right there with you.
We’re here to provide physical, financial and emotional support.
© Macmillan Cancer Support 2025 © Macmillan Cancer Support, registered charity in England and Wales (261017), Scotland (SC039907) and the Isle of Man (604). Also operating in Northern Ireland. A company limited by guarantee, registered in England and Wales company number 2400969. Isle of Man company number 4694F. Registered office: 3rd Floor, Bronze Building, The Forge, 105 Sumner Street, London, SE1 9HZ. VAT no: 668265007