Support and advice

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Hi I'm new to this group and would welcome support on how to get the best care for my daughter in law who is facing possibly incurable cancer. She has been waiting for a month since her recent diagnosis to get a plan for surgery and has been having numerous investigations.  Our concern is that the longer she waits the worse her prognosis is. How do we speed things up? Thank you

  • Hi  and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your daughter in law's ongoing diagnosis.

    From being on my incurable cancer journey for over 25 years...... these investigations unfortunately take time....... and more so as the years have gone on.

    There is an unfortunate need to keep pushing just to ensure her case has got stuck in the system..... yes this unfortunately happens. So your daughter in law, son..... you....... should be calling all the clinic contact numbers you have to ask what is going on.

    But you can contact the PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service) in your daughter in law's hospital and raise your concerns.

    A cancer diagnosis in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer or cancer support challenges can help a lot.

    This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support.

    The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms)……… but you don’t say what type of cancer your daughter in law has…….. but if you care to have a look through THIS LIST you will find all our dedicated cancer support groups listed…… it’s so important to get the right group as not all cancers react in the same way.

    These groups are safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same journey.

    Have a look through the LIST above and once you find the support group for your daughter in law's cancer type....... click on the link and when the group page opens you will see a [Black - Click to Join - Banner] at the bottom of the page, click in this box and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.

    When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.

    As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your daughter in law and indeed yourself and the rest of the family you may benefit from joining and posting in our……..

         Family and Friends

         Supporting someone with incurable cancer

    ……support groups where you will connect with others navigating the same support challenges.

    It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.

    The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.

    Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.

    Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge

  • Dear Mike, thank you so much for your really very helpful and supportive reply, its so very much appreciated. She has bowel cancer, has a stoma and it has now spread to her Overy and is about 8 inches in size. I will indeed get the phone numbers to try and do my part regarding further treatment and PALS is a good idea as well.  We will definitely look more into the other links for support that you have provided me with. THANK YOU!!!  I know its awful what you have been through and continue to be going through but you are able to have such a deep understanding and willingness to help which is much appreciated. Liz x

  • Hi Liz  I am pleased to be able to help….. navigating the NHS at the moment is a challenge but do keep getting your pointy elbows into the doors of system.

    ((hugs))

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge