Hi I’m new and in need of some support

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My husband was diagnosed in January 2020 with bowel cancer and has had several operations as well as chemotherapy and radiotherapy. He recently had to have his bowel, bladder and prostate removed as he now also has prostate cancer alongside the bowel cancer. He is now a double ostomate and has been told there is no more surgery or treatment available to him although the surgeon said he is R1 which is not fully clear of cancer. I could do with some support in how to cope and to help him to cope xx

  • Hi  and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis and prognosis.

    A cancer diagnosis in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type or support challenges will help you a lot……. I have a completely different type of cancer and treatment journey.

    This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our……

    Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer

    Ileostomy, colostomy and stoma support 

    Prostate cancer

    ……. support groups. These groups are safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.

    As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your husband and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……

    Carers only

    and our 

    Supporting someone with incurable cancer

    ……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.

    To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [ Black - Click to Join - Banner ] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.

    When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [ + Create new post] or [ + ] in the top right of the group page.

    You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

    It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.

    You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support or just a listening ear.

    Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.

    Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge

  • Hi Loubycat , 

    I'm so sorry to hear this.  I went through it with my Dad. 

    If you need someone to just talk to , ask questions or just someone to let steam out. Give me a message xx

  • Hi,

    My hubby is only 57 and I am only 47 we really can hardly believe that this is happening to him.

    How did your dad cope and how did you support him?

    xx

  • Hi Loubycat

    So sorry to hear about your poor hubby.  It must be really tough for you both. The folks on here are so helpful and kind and friendly, and as I have found out, you are not alone.  Someone will always answer any questions or concerns you may have or just lend a friendly ear.

    Sending big virtual hugs.

    Hazel x

  • Thanks Hazel we are currently chasing up a post operative appointment with the prostate surgeon as he had the surgery on the 3rd of June and hasn’t seen him yet. It is very frustrating and we are trying to stay positive but it is difficult.

    Just having a friendly ear helps especially if they have a similar story to us.

    Lou xx

  • Stay strong Lou. I hope hubby gets is post op appointment soon.

    Thinking of you

    Hazel xx