Hello

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Hi, I'm new here and starting to explore.

My wife has Multiple Myeloma which has caused stage 4 chronic kidney disease.  Her initial treatment included chemotherapy and dialysis which was awful: her heart stopped 3 times during dialysis so this had to stop. The chemotherapy caused a serious stroke.

She is now on Daratumamab which is much better for her and seems to be controlling the myeloma.

I have had to retire early to provide the care she needs but the stress is considerable.  Her stroke has caused sight loss, complete loss of short term memory and mobility is a big problem.  She cannot function in mist normal life skills so I do all of her washing and dressing, get her food and drink, fetch everything she needs and organise the hospice and hospital visits.

It's exhausting but you do what you have to when you love someone.

Not looking for sympathy, just introducing myself.

  • Hi  and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your wife’s diagnosis. 

    A cancer diagnosis in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type or support challenges will help you a lot……. (I have lived with and been treated for a completely different type of incurable blood cancer and treatment journey)

    This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our……

              Myeloma

    ……. support group. This group is a safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.

    As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your wife and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……

    Carers only 

    and our

    Supporting someone with incurable cancer

    ……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.

    To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [ Black - Click to Join - Banner ] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.

    When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [ + Create new post] or [ + ] in the top right of the group page.

    You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

    It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.

    You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.

    Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.

    Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

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