Just starting on the journey

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Hi, I'm so pleased to find this community.

I had  a colonoscopy on Thursday and been told, by the lovely consultant, he's 98% certain I have cancer in my ascending colon. Having watched the movie live, I have no doubt.

I'm 73, in pretty good health, married forty odd years, a mother of three daughters and gran to seven. I'm also a mindfulness teacher and finding my practise is helping me enormously. 

My husband looked a bit shell-shocked yesterday, I think he may be planning my funeral already! Two of my daughters seem reassured but the third was distraught when I told her last night. I'm finding her distress hardest to handle.

My liver already has the all clear and I have a scan on Tuesday to check my lungs are clear. The MDT meet hopefully a week on Monday to plan what next. I'm told an op to remove the whole of the ascending colon is the outline plan.

But, how to deal with the distress of loved ones? I'd love to hear how you have all dealt with this.

  • Hi  and a very warm welcome to the Community but sorry to hear about your ongoing diagnoses.

    Navigating the cancer journey can be such a stressful and challenging time but getting support from people who have walked the ‘exact same' cancer journey can help a lot. (I have a completely different cancer).

    This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we look to try and direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our dedicated Colon cancer support group. This will be a safe place to talk to others with a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support.

    To connect in with the group please click on the link below…….

           Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer

    …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.

    When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [ + ] in the top right of the group page.

    You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

    You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.

    We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow 3 working days for a reply.

    Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and give support to all the family.

    Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge

  • Thanks Mike, I appreciate your signposting and will explore. Pray

  • Hiya. I am in the similar situation and waiting the details of a treatment plan. 

    I agree it is difficult. I have found my positivity aligned to openness on the downsides has helped others. Being ready to listen and respond to any question. My boss went through similar recently and said a really helpful thing - I can’t own how others react. I can help but I need to accept where they are at and run with it. 

    Best wishes as you find out more!

    J

  • Hi, thanks for your reply and sharing that good advice. 

    I was interested to read the article on toxic positivity and wondering whether I'm being too positive myself and in denial? I don't think so but some folk seem to still see the 'Big C' as a death sentence. Thankfully for many, that isn't the case. However, I have to acknowledge that we all know of someone who died from it (one of the myriad of forms)  and this fear is very powerful for many. 

    I love that 'I can't own how others react'. So true.

    Thank you for sharing, and good wishes for your next steps. 

    Carole

  • Thank you for raising this. I didn't realise until I read your question how much the same thing was on my mind. I'm also newly diagnosed with a different cancer and have questions over my positivity and other people's reactions. Thanks again. 

  • Hi Clem, it's like going into unknown territory isn't it? I do feel pretty relaxed about it and see it mainly as a damned inconvenience. Everything on hold until the next steps become clearer. I can't say I'm looking forward to what comes next, but it's good to know there are fellow travellers along the way and we're in good company. It won't harm us to stay positive!

    All good wishes for your journey.

    C x