Hello All.
My mother has been ill for quite a long while now - COPD, heart disease, arthritis. A couple of years ago her legs started to fill with fluid and break out in ulcers and to cut a long story short she has been housebound for a year or more now. She had Hodgkins Lymphoma when she was in her mid 40's which was treated with chemo and she went into remission. She is now 78.
Last week her doctor told her that they've been doing Liver Function Tests as part of her regular blood testing - the district nurses who dress her legs (pretty much every day now) take the blood to check for infections in her legs which are now quite regular. Her bile ducts are blocked according to the blood tests and as she had her gall bladder removed in her 20's they strongly suspect that it's Cancer (there were other blood tests that indicated this too evidently). They've asked Mum to go for an ultrasound and she's flatly refused. She's had so many tests over the last few years that a few months ago she'd told me she's had enough and she's not having any more poking and prodding around.
I know she's had enough - and I absolutely respect that. I have said to her that if they know what they are dealing with then they will know how to keep her comfortable during what remains of her life - but she will not have it.
I have spoken to her GP - a joint phone call with Mum present, and also alone. He wants to come out and do a home visit - with me present. I haven't pushed this with Mum - although I did mention it to her.
I lost my father to Liver Cancer (was secondary to his lung cancer - but it was the liver cancer that killed him) 18 years ago. So this isn't my first time round the block. But I just wanted to connect with others who are trying to support their parents.
Big love to you all x
Hi OneBrightStar and welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your mum and the ongoing challenges you are all dealing with.
A cancer journey like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot.
This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your mum and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……..
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [ Black - Click to Join - Banner ] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [ + Create new post] or [ + ] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow 3 working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.
Please do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community ((hugs))
Thanks Mike. Much appreciated. 
