My father has been diagnosed with myloma he's 75 so it's not good news. I'm coping with supporting him 100% I always can be there for him but it's been a year now and I'm emotionally exhausted. I can't say exactly what's wrong in my mind but I don't know where to start. I'm trying to keep the mindset living with cancer not dying from it today but there's this black hole in my chest that I dare not go into I'm avoiding it at all costs. I'm strong and always in control except now. There are no rooms left in my house to decorate (my usual avoidance strategy) I need help and don't know where to start. Please help I'm lost.
Hi Floki and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your fathers Myeloma diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type or support challenges will help you a lot……. I have a completely different type of incurable blood cancer, diagnosed way back in 1999...... I have had treatment on and off over these years and yes.... I 'live' with my cancer.
The New to Community is like our reception desk where we try to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our dedicated……
…… support group. This group is a safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.
As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your father and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [ Black - Click to Join - Banner ] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [ + Create new post] or [ + ] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow 3 working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
Thank you that's amazing 
I truly appreciate your help
No problem. We will most likely talk again......... as I keep an eye on all out blood cancer groups ((hugs))
