Can't stop crying

Hi,

So sorry you too are going through this. We also had an appointment with the consultant last week and it has been much better this week because we now have all the scan results and understand what’s happening. I know everyone feels differently but the not knowing was much worse than knowing. We have been asked to go and see the oncologist next week so again, although it’s terrifying that it’s all moving so quickly, I think my husband is reassured that everyone is working hard on his behalf.

i still have moments of tearfulness and struggle when people ask “how are you” but it doesn’t feel quite as overwhelming as it did at first.

Wishing you both all the very best for your appointment and sending you lots of hugs: stay strong for each other.

x

Hello Lou cares 

A warm welcome to the online Community.

This thread is in the "New to the Community" which is where we direct community members to where they can get the best help and support. In view of your partner's diagnosis I would strongly advise you to join the Prostate Cancer forum - there you will find people on the same or similar journey - the link is here -

Prostate cancer forum 

Just click on the link and when the page opens up click on join on the black banner at the foot of the page. Once you have joined the forum you can introduce yourself in the "New Here - Say Hello" section.

I know you will receive plenty of help and advice there - I am Brian and I hang around on that forum - I am 28 months into my Prostate Cancer journey (you can follow it by clicking on my avatar). I look forward to "meeting" you again later on the forum.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hi Lou 

So sorry to hear your news, my partner goes for his biopsy today so we should hopefully learn more. Hope you get some positive news tomorrow that treatment is working, fingers crossed for you, and your partner stay strong 

Vic x

Hi I feel your pain my brother is 63 and out of the blue had a swollen face.They advised it was a ear infection its a tumor in his saliva gland in his cheek now spread to his back. Scan today to see if it has spread anywhere else 6 days time.

I cannot sleep eat or function I have not processed this and like you had no idea what to do or where to go .

My brother has been advised he will need radiotherapy and chemo. No cure but treatable.

Where there is time there is hope and every effort will be made to save a loved one.

I have waves of feelings come over me and just cry from what I have read on the forums is many people have cancer and are living relatively good lives with treatment. 

I am sending hugs and prayers 

Hi I just read your post, I'm exactly at the same situation now, my husband was diagnosed with metastatic prostate cancer and I'm shocked crying all the time

How is your husband now, hope he's doing well

Good Morning Majedsh 

I am so sorry to read about you and your husband - please do come and join us over on the Prostate Group (see my post above). You will find plenty of help and support from people in the same or similar situations. Here's the link:

Prostate cancer forum 

You are assured of a warm welcome - I should know I have prostate cancer myself and am also a member of the group.

I look forward to "meeting" you again.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hi Majedsh,

I'm so sorry to hear your news. When the diagnosis is first received, it's such a shock for you both and difficult to see beyond that moment. However, I have found wonderful support through this forum and it has been such a relief to have somewhere to ask questions and also to know that you are being supported by others who understand what you are going through. I'm sure you will experience the same.

We are a year on from diagnosis now and we have managed to find a way of coping with and learning to live with the diagnosis.

It was such a relief to find an amazing consultant (we moved on from our original doctor) who we really trust.

My husband initially had 6 months of chemo and a session of radiotherapy to target the cancer in his hip and pelvis. He is still having quarterly hormone injections and darolutamide tablets and alendronate acid tablets for bone strength. His PSA initially went up to 120 but is now below 1 although it is fluctuating a bit over the last 3 months but I understand that this is normal and the consultant isn't worried, so we are not.

He had another scan recently now things have settled down, so that the consultant has a baseline to work from to monitor any changes. He will continue to have monthly blood tests for the foreseeable future as his cancer was asymptomatic, very aggressive and hasn't behaved "normally" and how the consultant as seen before so they are keeping a very close eye on him.

We have tried, now that the dust has settled a little, and the initial panic has subsided, to carry on as before. We are planning holidays, our daughters' graduation ceremonies and just life in general. It has been difficult and I still have those tearful moments but it is certainly easier to put things into perspective now than it was then.

Please do keep talking, asking questions and reaching out for support whenever you need it: the one thing we did find initially, and this may just be our experience, but we had to drive the treatment plan and ask the questions and find support: it didn't just happen. Once we found the right medical team for us, it became much easier as we felt able to hand over control to them. I think I said to our consultant after out first appointment that it felt like the first time we had been able to breath since the diagnosis.

Wishing you all the very best and sending you a big hug. Take care.

MamaS

Hello MamaS 

A great post - thank you - and it's good to know that for you and the family life is back to the new normal - holidays, graduations, that's brilliant.

You are correct, with the NHS you need to advocate for yourself through the system to get the best care and treatment for your partner.

My best wishes to you moving forward and thank you for your continued support for others - it's much appreciated.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hi majdesh, and a warm welcome from me, I am truly sorry to hear of your husband's diagnosis, one I share, and as Brian has said please join the prostate cancer forum, it's been such a wonderful place for support and advice from the guys and partners on there, we all understand the emotions that come with our diagnosis and there will be many who have travelled the path you are starting, who will happily share their experiences and understanding with you. I was diagnosed almost 3 years ago,  with a  rare and aggressive varient, but I've just enjoyed a fortnight at the Isles of Scilly, and a week in Scotland, and planning a summer wedding, so please don't think the worst my friend, there's still a lot of life left for all of us, 

Eddie  xx