How to tell my mum I don’t want her coming to the hospital.

Oh wow that sounds horrendous!  You're totally not being unreasonable.  One other person, for support, of your choosing, is appropriate.  This would really bother me too.  But I would just tell them straight and my family would respect that.    It is your medical appointment not theirs!     

Thank you!! I’m glad I’m not being unreasonable. Just going to have to suck it up and tell her. 

Hi MrsGee,I was in your situation when I went to get my diagnosis.I had to tell my partner and sister that I really appreciated their support but that I wanted to go in on my own.I explained how overwhelming it all felt and they waited outside.I think they did understand.On subsequent appointments my sister did come in with me to see the surgeon.All you can do is to be honest and tactful.Best wishes for your appointment.Jane 

I can totally understand your feelings.and the need to be alone with your husband while receiving life changing news. I have no secret of how to tell your mum other than,,,,,mum, I would like to go only with husband, its to do with energy. you need to gather yourself with every once of energy you have, this will give you strength to deal with whats to come...you cant gather yourself with lots of people around.....suggestion...I have been RECORDING on my phone all my oncology appointments. I ask the doc if he she doesnt mind but I am recording the appointment. everybody agrees. I then can listen to it again but more importantly is that my 2 grown up children can listen is as if they were present. I go to my appointments alone. I cant deal with people when I am stressed. as for telling your mum....tell her the truth, record the session and offer your mum to listen to it when you are home and ready. all the best...

Hi MrsGee  and a very warm welcome to the Community but sorry to hear about your diagnoses.

Navigating the cancer journey can be such a stressful and challenging time but getting support from people who have walked the ‘exact same' cancer journey can help a lot.

The New to Community is like our reception desk where we look to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is divided into dedicated Cancer Support Groups (Discussion Rooms)……but I do see that you have already joined our dedicated Cervical Cancer support group…..  This group is a safe place to talk to others with a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support.

To connect in with the group click on this link 

 Cervical cancer forum

…… then once the group page opens you can introduce yourself by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear. We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow 3 working days for a reply.

Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and give support to all the family.

Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.

Thank you! Makes me feel less mean! 

Thank you! That’s actually a really good idea! Like you, I can’t deal with people when stressed. I need time to process the information. 

Thank you very much