Well it's hard to know where to begin
My husband was diagnosed with colorectal cancer in July 21. He has now had nearly 50 chemos and several operations. He is lucky to have got this far. He's now getting pip and the life assurance has just paid out.
Our relationship has never been easy and cancer hasn't helped. He is frequently angry and this is almost always directed at me. He wants me to remain loving. I have emotionally withdrawn for a measure of self protection. He shouts, screams at me. Says how he wants to stick a knife in himself. Wont let me out of the car. Insinuates negative meanings where there weren't any. My heart hurts. I feel numb.
You may say it's the cancer, don't take it personally but that's not how my emotions feel.
Hi Caroline64
It’s Megan here from Macmillan’s Online Community team. I’m sorry to read about your situation and how you are feeling just now.
We have sent you some support information directly which I hope will be useful to you. If you need further help or guidance, please don’t hesitate to email community@macmillan.org.uk or contact the Macmillan Support Line for free.
To get in touch, please call 0808 808 00 00, email, or live webchat during the opening hours. The specialist teams can provide emotional, practical, and financial help for as long as you need.
I'm glad you are reaching out for some support today. Hopefully, the information we have shared with you is helpful and you'll continue using the Community when you need peer support.
We have spaces like our Carer’s only forum and the Family and friends forum you are welcome to join.
Do let us know if you need any help using the Online Community or finding additional support.
Best wishes,
Megan
Macmillan's Online Community team
