My nan was diagnosed with lung and bone cancer a few years ago, obviously the diagnosis was a massive shock for us as my nan never smoked or drank ect, but I guess cancer isn't picky. She keeps saying her cancer is stable and that's all I can ask for every month that goes by.
The reason why I'm here is because it's difficult to talk about it to people around me, they say they understand but in reality without sounding ungrateful. They don't.
I have developed anxiety through the pure fear of loosing her and I find I have nightmares about it, il wake up panicking that something is going to happen, or start thinking something bad is going to. Im even going through counselling who have said I've basically been grieving as this disease has changed her and I cant even imagine what it's like to have this horrible illness. I dont know if anyone else feels the same way? I feel guilty for feeling like this and I just find the whole situation emotionally confusing and hard to process even 3 years down the line.
Shes so quiet, she hardly makes conversations even though i travel to see her as often as i can (every 2 weeks). She used to do a lot of arts and crafts and il get the occasional glimpse of that but it's near impossible to motivate her. She's lost so much weight, she won't drink the fortisip drinks, and barely eats anything other than cake which is now turning into a problem for her diabetes, so now I'm stressing out that she will eat less now as the doctors say she needs to cut back on her sugar. But now she keeps getting these "turns" of going very pale and dizzy then the need to be sick, she usually recovers after that but is that quite normal?
Then on top of all that I'm now worrying about my moms health as she has basically taken on the carer role, and she is exhausted. I take over when I'm there but don't live close by anymore so I just feel helpless.
I think il feel less alone just knowing other people are feeling the same?
Hi PaigeW and I can see that you have been a member of then Community little while…… but so sorry to hear about the challenges you and the family are having with your nan.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help a lot.
The New to Community is like our reception desk where we look to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your Nan, but also your family and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our
and
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……. support groups where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)
You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.
Please do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
