Feeling hopeless

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Hi all. 

My mam was diagnosed with Small Cell Lung Cancer. She went through chemotherapy and radiotherapy and was in remission until there were tumors found in her brain. She underwent surgery to remove one of the tumors which alleviated most of her symptoms. She was left with a smaller tumor which couldn't be operated on. She went through chemo again, but didn't work and the tumor grew. She has had targeted radiotherapy juat before christmas this year. My mams mood has been terribly low, which is understandle as she's also grievg for a couple of losses. She regrets having treatment (which I think is wild because she wouldn't be here otherwise. The docs have already said so). And why would you say things like this to your children?. She can be quite hurtful with some of the things she says. I've known people to have a new lease of life and want to live everyday like it was their last. But not my mam. We know there are no more treatment options now and she is very difficult to be around, as I spend the next week after so sad about everything. I just dont know what to do. I've already suggested she speaks to a professional but she won't. She's very angry at everyone and is trying to push everyone away. 

  • Hi   and welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your mum. A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help a lot.

    The New to Community is like our reception desk where we look to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support. The Community is divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your mum you may benefit from joining and posting in our Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer support groups where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.

    To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)

    You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

    It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.

    It’s a challenging time for you so you may want to use the Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.

    We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.

    Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.

    Please do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

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