Sole carer for my Dad who lives alone

Hi - My Dad was diagnosed in May with widespread cancer, he’s losing weight rapidly and is in pain and sleeps a great deal. He lives alone and I am his only support. I adore my dad, regardless of the fact that we’ve led separate lives since I was tiny. He’s very stubborn and independent. I can feel him slipping away from me like sand from a timer and I’m desperately  trying to help him and support him, working full time and living a distance away, it is exhausting physically and emotionally but he’s worth it!

He just wants to be left alone to sleep and I try to respect that but I want to do more for him, to be with him while I can - I feel almost panicked, I wish we could somehow help them more 

  • Hi  and welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your dad and the challenges you are dealing with.

    A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help a lot.

    The Community is actually divided into Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your dad you may benefit from joining and posting in our Carers only and our Supporting someone with incurable cancer support groups where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.

    To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)

    You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post. You can also scroll through other members posts and click “Reply” to get involved.

    It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.

    The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear. We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.

    Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.

    Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge

  • Mike - thank you, your message response feels like a life raft! X

  • Life rafts come in different shapes and the links I have given you will be some of these ((hugs))

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge