My partner was diagnosed with anal cancer just over 2 months ago. He's also a kidney transplant patient.He's on third week of treatment, we are a young couple with children but haven't told them, my son is ASD and wouldn't understand and my daughter is just finding herself so we don't want them to worry.
I hate that it's torn our life apart I clean n Dettol everyday I stay away from everyone so no germs can spread.we have no outside life, treatment is in middle of the day, I struggle even going to the centre. I don't want this to become normal in our life if that makes sense. I'm worried constantly that after treatment when it works that we will go thru more kidney treatments after the years we have had I really wanted a break for my family.
I feel guilty for not coping with this as well as I should. My partner reminds me daily that he could die n this could spread n kill him he has no faith in the meds working. I can say it's our first Xmas in our new home he will sit there tell me it's his last. I hate him for it but understand that's how he's feeling, Im not coping n I really want it over.
I'd love to find another transplant patient who been thru similar to show hubs that they can get thru this and life can still carry on.
Sorry for a long one my mind goes on overdrive I've tried reaching out to people but I don't seem to find anyone who understands x
Hi Tara88 and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your partners diagnosis and the challenges you are dealing with.
A cancer diagnosis in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type and support challenges will help a lot (I have a totally different type of cancer)
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Cancer Specific Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our dedicated Anal cancer support group. This is a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.
As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your partner and your children you may benefit from joining and posting in our Carers only support group where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)
You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post. You can also scroll through other members posts and click “Reply” to get involved.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
You may find some of these Macmillan resources helpful on understanding childrens' reactions and also talking to children when an adult has cancer. You can also download, or order a paper copy, of this booklet.
The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear. We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community
