Need advice

Full picture I sleep 3-4 hours a night and my main priority is my family (pregnant girlfriend and little girl) I also have to keep updated my family that is big and my partners family that is also big. Everyone is looking at me to get my family through this. I have my little girls life in my hands.

I have gone through multiple options and made multiple decisions over the last few months and letting my little girl down is not a option.

Like I said previously, the consultant has been amazing and the information he has providers and advice has been incredibly.

I have gone through every possible option I.e going abroad (USA). Taking her to Europe and he has answered everything questions and provide facts. Alder Hay is the best option for her and I stand by that decision.

My little girl has managed to get proton beam therapy at the  christies in manchester. She is very lucky to get this. Its an honour for her to have this opportunity and no words exist.

I feel like I'm going around in circles and I apologise for that. Like I said I've never written on a forum before.

At the moment I'm depressed and suffering from anxiety that could if I allowed it keep me in bed all day.

Before all this, I worked 40-60 hour week sometimes more. I'm a financial adviser. Based on my medical heath and the fact I don't have a clue what im doing at any day. I'm off work.

I couldn't possible work at the moment and I would never do that to my client. My money is less than half based on a income protection policy I have.

I'm aware some benefits are available for my little girl but only last week we made contact with a charity who is going to help us.
I did my best to for 4 months without help. I want people who needed it more before we applied. I'm paying £200 a month in fuel at the moment going from Warrington to Alder Hay.

When she start radiotherapy we have to travel every day and fuel will be at £300 amonth plus.

I want to be the best father to my little girl and is being emotionally broken right or should I get counselling.

Has anyone had counselling before and what do they expect from you?

I'd phone the Macmillan support line now 0808 8080000 https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/get-help/macmillan-support-line Waiting just lets it build up more and potentially get worse.  I've phoned them before a couple of times.  They are really helpful and understanding and can give you a steer of options going forwards.    

Hi Adviceneeded and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.

I'm so sorry to read all that your family are going through and I know what a hard time this will be for you all.

The online community is divided up into different support groups so I'm going to recommend that you join the soft tissue sarcoma group, which will give you the chance to talk to others who have had rhabdomyosarcoma and to find out what treatments they've had. 

Another group which I think you'd benefit from joining is the carers only group as you'll then connect directly with others who have a loved one living with cancer and where you can discuss how you feel.

There are also another couple of groups which you could look at but they are less active than the ones I've previously mentioned and you are less likely to connect with others. They are the parents of children with cancer group and the children's cancer group.

To join any or all these groups, just click on the links I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.

Do also take up Mmum's suggestion of speaking to the Macmillan Support Line.

It would be great if you could put something about your daughter's diagnosis and treatment so far into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.

Hi Adviceneeded 

My name is Steph and I'm part of the Community team here at Macmillan. 

I was so sorry to hear of your little girl's diagnosis and for everything you're going through as a father. I hope that you will find it useful to share your feelings and find support here on the Online Community. 

I have joined the thread to offer some further suggestions of support. It sounds like you're doing everything you can to be there for your family, but it's important that you're looking after yourself too. 

As others have mentioned, the Macmillan Support Line is here for you whenever you have questions, or just need to chat. Our Support Line teams are available 7 days a week, 8am-8pm on freephone 0808 808 00 00, email or live webchat.

We also have some suggestions of charities who specialise in supporting families when a child has cancer:

• Young lives vs cancer
• Children with cancer UK
• Childrens cancer and leukaemia group
• The Azaylia Foundation

Cancer Research also have a more comprehensive list of children's cancer organisations here.

In addition to reaching out here on the Community and to the Macmillan Support Line, I would encourage you to seek specialist support through these organisations.

I hope this is helpful, but if you have any questions please do get back in touch. If you would like to message us privately, you can send a private message (PM) to Moderator - Macmillan Community or email us at community@macmillan.org.uk

I would get professional help now, it will help you to talk to somebody about how you are feeling through the next few months and help you to provide the support to others around you.