Sorry for the long post.
H all, My Mum has been diagnosed with bowel cancer, she's had a bowel resection, where the tumour was removed and she's been told she will need chemo.
She having tests that will determine what type of chemo and how for long.
I was hoping for some advice/insight as my issue is that she will not talk about the cancer at all.
Nothing, at all, she won't discuss it, the treatment or anything. It's like she trying to pretend it isn't happening.I dont actually know how her cancer has been classified for instance.
Problem is this, it's causing issues. She's not filling out the information needed for her appointments, she's not complying with the medical instructions for her recovery, leading to her already being hospitalised twice in 4 weeks post operation. When I was with her in the Hospital last time, the consultant asked her what she thought/wanted about her treatment options etc, her response was I'll do what you advise!
She told me at the beginning of her original diagnosis, she was worried she wouldn't get treatment because of her age, she's mid 70s, and then she was beside herself at the prospect of having to have a stoma. Neither of these have come to pass, but she's now shut down. It's like dealing with a toddler who covers their ears and shouts la la la, whenever I try to talk about her illness.
I think it's important we discuss things and I'm getting so frustrated because I love her, I want her to beat this and have many more years with us but it seems she's hell bent on sabotaging her recovery chances despite wanting to beat it.
Can anyone shed some light on this?
Hi LadyV73 and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I'm sorry to read that your mum has recently been diagnosed with bowel cancer but that she won't discuss it with you.
As the online community is divided up into different support groups, I'm going to recommend that you join the bowel cancer group where you can ask questions and learn about other people's experiences with treatment, etc.
I think you'd also benefit from joining either the carers only group, if you are your mum's carer, or the family and friends group if you're not. Both groups are safe and supportive places and you could ask how other people have coped when a loved one won't discuss their cancer with them.
To join these appropriate groups, just click on the links I've provided which will take you directly to the group. You can then join and start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with exiting conversations by clicking on 'reply.
Of course, as hard as it may be for you, you may just have to accept that your mum does not want to discuss her diagnosis and treatment with anyone but I'm sure she appreciates your support. Macmillan have this booklet called Talking with Someone who has Cancer which you might find helpful to look through.
It would be great if you could pop something about what you know about your mum's diagnosis into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
x
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
