Hello

I am new to this site so I have just come across your post and after reading it I just want to send you all my love and positive energy I cannot point you anywhere on this site as I have literally signed up myself 30 minutes ago so my apologies 

I don’t know how I would react after being told 5-10 years but I would hope having a 10 year son that I would fight to try extend that 10 years to 11 or 12 and try and stay as positive as I can but I know how much I am struggling with my news which I got only 2 weeks ago so again I feel I cannot really give advice but I just want to send you my love and thoughts and positive energy to you x 

Hi Shadders and a warm welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your diagnoses.

The cancer journey can be such a stressful and challenging time but you have done the right thing in reaching out to a place where you can ask questions and getting support from others who are on the ‘exact’ same cancer journey.

The Community is divided into support groups (discussion rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our supportive Breast, secondary cancer and our Living with incurable cancer - incurable patients only support groups.

These group are safe places to talk to others with a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support.

If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the (Bold) Group Links I have created above. Once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."

You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go. You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

The Macmillan Support Line is open from 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 where you can talk with someone about specific cancer and practical information, get emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just connect with a listening ear.

We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.

We also have our Telephone Buddy Service where you can be matched with someone who understands what you're going through, and they'll give you a weekly call.

Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and aim to give support to all the family.

Do get back to me if you need further help.

Hi JDwrapchannel I just put up a reply to the post you have put up in this our New to Community section.

Thanks JD, big hugs back to you . It’s a bit sh* t isn’t it? What’s your diagnosis? 

Jac x

Thanks Highlander

I have a 1cm x 1cm nodule on my right upper lung near the edge I have had all PET scans and tests this week meet with the consultant next week for treatment plan and I am praying it’s a wedge resection surgery so they can take it all out and I can try move on with my life as at the moment I keep having panic attacks 

The waiting is the worst bit isn’t it? I imagined all sorts before my diagnosis and treatment plan was outlined. Good luck with everything . Have you talked to the helpline? I haven’t myself but I’ve heard that it’s really good. This time next week you’ll have more idea of where you stand and treatment plan. Good luck!

Hi Shadders,

I'm so sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis. It's so difficult when you're given such a rough prognosis, my mum was given similar when she was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer, she was told she could have 2 years, could have 10, so she just used to think and say she wasn't going to make old bones and leave it at that. In the end she had 3 years after diagnosis of being extremely well, then suddenly deteriorated and passed away(but this was 15 years ago and things have changed a lot since then). She also found the thought of not meeting her grandchildren or seeing her children married hard, but she did see my brother married and me and my sister meet our future husbands, and tho she never met any of her grandchildren she's still a huge part of their lives, as she decided to do a grandma box where over the years she made dolls and teddies for her future grandchildren, and also joined an art class where she did paintings of fairy tales for them, so all her 6 grandchildren have toys she made them and paintings in their room from her, and we constantly talk about grandma Glenys. When my eldest niece was younger she would often say she'd dreamed about all the fun things they did together. I think sometimes doing something positive like that really helps, but obviously at the moment it's probably all too new and raw to be thinking about things like that. X 

Thank you for the story of your mum CS. She sounds like she was a wonderful woman. 

Jacqui x

Hi 

A prognosis can be at best an estimate because cancers are very individual and no one knows how your body will respond to treatment, which is always evolving.  I'm in the Incurables group Mike mentions.  We frequently discuss timescales, pros and cons of asking etc.  We have a laugh too, celebrate others' good results and support each other when we need to let off steam!

I have had to deal with this: 

Shadders said:

I may not be around to see my grandchildren, or my children meet their life partners

My approach is to acknowledge and be thankful for the time I've been able to spend with them and to see them grow into (almost!) independent young people.  I don't dwell on the negative, what I might not experience, because we don't know.  There's members on here who are talking to their under 10s and teens about cancer.  That's sad.  

Maggies can help you with the hospice/home conversation and probably your oncologist will raise it at the appropriate time.  That's what mine advised.