My husband has been diagnosed with bowel cancer which has spread to his liver. He has been doing really quite well and managed without any treatment for the past 4 months. We were both made very aware that this situation wouldn't continue and that the cancer will return - don't know when or how badly. We recently learned that we are going to become grandparents and this seems to have really hit him. He is spending most of the day in his bed. Our daughter has been home for a few months as she has had problems with her pregnancy but the outcome is getting better each day. He has another scan due (which will be adding to his anxiety) but is so very argumentative and short tempered (not like him). He doesn't want to know anything about his prognosis and refuses to discuss the current situation - has his head in the sand. I feel trapped between my daughter - who also needs me at this time and the feelings of guilt with him. Is the excess fatigue, mood swings etc an indication that things have moved on or do other folk also experience these emotions.
Hi and welcome to the Online Community although I am so sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis and the challenges you are all facing.
This is such a hard time for everyone involved and it sounds like your husbands reactions is how he is boxing up all the uncertainty about the future but I do hope you will find lots of support and comfort here on the Online Community.
The New to Community is like our reception desk where we can signpost you to our various support groups and services so can I recommend you join our Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer and Liver, secondary cancer groups. These are safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience or are supporting someone on their cancer journey.
If you'd like to connect in with a group, you need to join the group. First click on the Green link I have created above. Then once the page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New (Computers) or + (Mobile Devices). You will then see a dropdown menu so hit ‘Start a Discussion in New here, say hello’ and you are ready to go.
You could copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also search through existing ‘Discussions’ and click [reply] if you want to put up a comment.
When it comes to the specific practical challenges of supporting someone on their cancer journey you may benefit from joining our supportive Family and friends and Carers only groups where you will connect with others supporting family and friends
The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 or via web chat. This service provides cancer information, emotional support, benefits and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
To find information covering diagnosis, treatments and pages covering most types of cancers check our Online Information and Support Section.
Talking to people face to face can indeed help a lot but during these strange times it’s not that available but do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area has opened up. Do also check out for a local Maggie's Centre in your area.
Always around if you need further help in navigating the community.
All the very best ((hugs))
